ugh I really did have the best of intentions. and you would think that posting once a week would be attainable. um apparently not. oh well.

so since I've last posted I got a job and then quit said job because it was ridiculous. and not for very much money so no. it felt a little irresponsible but also like I needed to think about my mental health which this place was definitely not good for. so back to ye olde job search. meh.

random selection from the journaling topics. because I'm certainly not going to catch up on an entire month. not if I want to get this posted today that is.

12. How are you sleeping?
25. What’s something you want to do but haven’t?
30. I wish animals could…… If they could, then…..

12. strangely well but also with an increase in dreaming or remembering them anyway. which I really need to get myself a journal to start writing them down again. but last night there was something about losing my pet rat (I don't have a pet rat) in the water of Flint, MI (gross) and I woke up feeling really sad about that. my brain is a strange place.

25. well there's always Disney which I haven't done since moving back. and there's a zip line place that looks fun. but I think of all the things that I haven't done since moving back here is I really want to go to the beach. we haven't yet and after a summer spent at the beach in California I'm missing the water. (ngl living next to a lake does help.)

30. I wish cats could talk and reason so I could ask [livejournal.com profile] outsideherhead's cat Willie why he insists on yelling for dinner like 60-90 minutes early every single night. and then maybe get him to not do that. I swear some of these sounds are not sounds cats should be able to make

finally saw The Martian which I loved. finally understand the tumblr posts declaring Watney/potatoes to be the true OTP. pretty much agree. or possible just Watney/science.
ahhh the new year. that time yet again when I say that yes I'm going to start posting to my lj again. I guess as always only time will tell. (although now that I no longer live alone (more on that later) and we've both committed to trying to post once a week it will be easier. what is that? optimism? amaze.)

there was a post floating around tumblr (here if anyone cares) with topics for 365 days of journaling that I liked so I could reference it but I'm pretty sure daily posting is just never going to work for me. so I'm gonna go ahead each week and look at the topics and maybe list them here and then if they spark anything great, and if not I guess I'll just have to rely on my brain. the horror.

1. Your New Year’s Resolutions
2. Personal fact file.
3. Review of 2015

1. I don't really do resolutions. I mean I guess I have my standard lose weight, exercise more, eat better. but I guess there are things I would like to accomplish this year. I'd like to read more (not just fan fiction, although that is a completely legit form of writing.) I just feel like maybe I need to read more books. and also maybe more subjects than werewolves and the boys that love them. FOREVER STEREK TRASH THANKS FOR ASKING. I'd like to volunteer. the one good thing about my old job was that they had a really strong commitment to volunteer work and I got to do some pretty great things. but now it's on me to seek out groups I'd like to work with. and that shouldn't be that hard to do, but it's one of those things that I think I let overwhelm me pretty easily. that should be something I work on as well I guess. stop letting anxiety get the better of me. I know it's okay to bow out of stuff and the need to recharge, but don't let it control you. I'm working on it. there's more that I know I want to tackle this year, but actually making resolutions turns them into things I can fail at and I don't like to approach things that way. so uhhhh. there's stuff. that I'm gonna try to do this year. yes.

2. I feel like if you've been around here for any amount time you know this stuff but I guess it doesn't hurt. my name is Regina. I just turned 45 which mostly just confuses me because I could swear I was just 30 like a couple of years ago? apparently it's been more than a few. I'm a Capricorn in so many ways but I'm not, nor am I ever likely to be overly ambitious. but still I maybe have a few too many of the personality traits to dismiss it out of hand. I'm short, I have sort of ludicrously small hands and I usually describe myself as chubby because even after years and years of trying to become okay with my body, I don't like the word fat. if you self identify as fat then rock on with your bad ass self. it's part family bullshit, part societal bullshit, part mental block I've never been able to get past. so chubby works and you know. work in progress blah blah. I have blue eyes and hair that is supposed to be light brown but is faded red at the moment with a few streaks of blonde and purple. I'm covered in freckles and if I'm out in the sun for more that 10 minutes without some sort of sunscreen I'm going to be paying for it later. after many years of trying to figure out my sexuality I'm still not really sure but tend to use bisexual and pan-sexual fairly interchangeably. either way it's not like I'm all that visible. what else? I love the ocean, tea, dogs and cats in equal amounts, roller-coasters, fandom, sushi, Halloween, and my friends. I hate raw tomato on sandwiches, sharks, slugs, fandom, below freezing temperatures, and clowns.

3. most years I hate this topic because I'm like uhhhhh did I do anything over the last year besides work? well I did work a lot but also. THINGS. HAVE. CHANGED. the first few months of 2015 saw me suffering thru my last cold winter in the mountains of Arizona before finally moving back to California at the end of April. at that point my mother put me to work at the restaurant I swore I would never go back to, but what are you gonna do when you're living rent free across the street from the ocean? you're gonna shut up and do a job you hate because most of the people you work with are ones you grew up with and it's strangely fun this time around. (even if restaurant work is still a terrible choice for an introvert.) this continued thru the end of October and then at the beginning of November I packed two suitcases and my laptop bag and hauled my butt across the country. a little over a week in NJ while we did superfun adult things like HowlerCon and then not so fun adult things like finishing packing and then driving down to Florida.

after a 12 year absence I am finally back in Florida. I can not explain why this place feels like home, but it does. it's insane, the politics are terrible, there's more people around me than I really care to think about, but it's the only place I've ever lived that I was really happy. so [livejournal.com profile] outsideherhead and I finally sucked it up and got out of our respective lives and decided to move back down here. and no, we're still not dating.

I don't know there's been a lot of great stuff this year (my mom and I spent a lot of time wine drunk over the summer) and I'm honestly not sure how to look back on a year that doesn't have any huge dark spots. (well okay hitting the first anniversary of my dad's death wasn't a picnic, but I was also with my family so that helped.) and sure there were bad things here and there but they just don't stick out as much as the good. I know 2015 was hard for a lot of people but I can really only look back on it fondly. which is a new and different thing for me.

---
for my own reference and also because I'm so out of the loop on what fandoms everyone is in:

Teen Wolf (someday I will learn to love myself)
The Originals
Penny Dreadful
MCU
Star Trek (the new trailer looks good!)
Star Wars (give me all the Finn/Rey/Poe. ALL OF IT.)
The Raven Cycle
probably more things that I'm forgetting about. currently rewatching Supernatural and being angry that the first few seasons are so much better than I remember.

my fandom participation seems to be pretty limited to reading fic and reblogging nonsense on tumblr these days but I'm always up for babbling about things I love. ♥
- so hey it's been 14 years since i created this journal. that is nuts. (I have an older lj that was created about 11 months before this one so it's not my true lj anniversary, but still.)
- i went through and purged like 100 icons. i've had some pretty shitty taste in shows over the years. (whatever i kept the sheldon/penny icons because that show might be shit but you will pry that pairing from my cold, dead hands.)
- apartment hunting in orlando continues. the search is for a 2 bed/2 bath, cat friendly, wash/dry hookups for less than $1000/mo for two responsible fangirl types. if anyone knows anyone who knows anything can you please pass this along? thanks.
- guys i have purchased mad max: fury road on blu-ray and have not yet watched. i missed it in the theater so i have not seen it. at all. and yet i look at it sitting on my bookshelf and go 'eh maybe later.' WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
- this post has been open for like 3 hours now. apparently i have nothing else to add. ;p
- okay so it's been forever and a day since i've used this thing. which is dumb because i still read my flist every single day. i just never ever post. so that should be something I work on. yes? yes.

- do you ever see anything so beautiful that it stops you dead in your tracks? last night as i left work at the absurdly late hour of 11:45pm the crescent moon hung low over the ocean and was blood red (I'm assuming from whatever fires happen to be burning in California right now.) it also reminded me of the tumblr post i saw the other day about not having to be a wolf to yell sad noises at the moon. (i didn't though because i work at a resort and i don't think the people in their hotel rooms would appreciate the restaurant staff howling outside their windows. but i really really wanted to.)

- i'm waiting for the day that sia's 'chandelier' does not make me weep like a baby. so far it has not come, nor do i see it anywhere on the horizon.

- blindspot was fairly decent television but mild spoilers i guess ) still i'll probably tune back in next week.

- saw the scorch trials and really enjoyed it. it's no secret that i read those books (or kinda read them, i'm still only about a third of the way through the the third book) because of dylan o'brien and seriously fuck that kid because the books are kind of awful. like the premise is somewhat interesting but the author is pretty bad. no spoilers, but the movie managed to get rid of a lot of what i really hated about that book so good job. plus dylan's dumb face.

- so did i ever talk here about how i'm back in california? or that i'm moving back to florida in a couple of months? no more arizona! hello friends stuff is happening. it makes me pretty damn happy.

- man do i need to overhaul all my icons. although this one is adorable and can stay. (yes i'm still sterek trash. always. forever.)
Trigger warning: death in the family )
1) Make a list of fifteen characters first, and keep it to yourself for the moment.
2) Ask your f-list to post questions in the comments. For example: "One, nine, and fifteen are chosen by a prophecy to save the world from four. Do they succeed?", "Under what circumstances might five and fourteen fall in love?", "Which character on the list would you most want on your side in a zombie invasion?"
3) After your f-list has stopped asking questions, round them up and answer them using the fifteen characters you selected beforehand, then post them.
it is Moonday which means I am just stalking the download tags on tumblr waiting for a good d/l link for the new ep. well I've actually already found one so now I'm just waiting for it to hurry up. GIVE ME MY TEENAGE WEREWOLVES AND THE HUMANS WHO LOVE THEM. also give me sassy ER nurses and town sheriffs who are CLEARLY MFEO. ugh. <3

work has been a mess of drama that I am thankfully not involved in except that I know everyone who is and I fear eventually someone will want me to pick sides. they seem to overestimate my level of giving a shit. sigh sigh.

I've reached the point in my cold where I am made of snot. I have wiped my nose so many times today that just breathing is painful. fun times friends. blergh.
feeling better and my temp is up so no more cold chills which is nice. still a little achy though but hopefully that goes away the more I get up and move around.

so I decided last week that I wanted to start a new hobby. so I wandered around Michael's looking at pretty much everything before settling on loom knitting. I wish I could tell you why, but I have no idea. well not entirely true, I really like the idea of making my own socks. so I bought some looms and a few skiens of yarn and let them all sit on my floor by the sofa for about a week.

today I made a hat! )

even though it's kind of goofy looking I'm sort of insanely proud. oh little hat. <3
went home today sick since I felt like death warmed over for most of the day. low grade fever wooooo. ugh. I came home and passed the fuck out for several hours and while I feel a little better my temp is still low. (I usually run on the lower end of the "normal" body temp spectrum but sometimes my body is just ridiculous.) so hot tea and blankets.

although I'm super bitter that I don't have a hot werewolf boyfriend to take care of me. I just need to be kept warm and have someone massage the achy bits. Tyler Hoechlin whyyyyy are you not here? sigh.

I know I just got back from my holiday vacation but I want to go somewhere. it doesn't even have to be far. maybe I should see if I can find something reasonable in like Sedona for a weekend or something. ahahahha oh god I just used reasonable and Sedona in the same sentence. hilarious. maybe somewhere else.

wanderlust. I has it.
I keep saying that I miss it over here, but then I never post. so uh this is me trying to do something about that. of course it's kind of half assed because mostly it's just to post these reading bingo cards, but I am determined to read more than one book this year. (the problem is that fanfic is generally easier for me to read and often better written so I get distracted.) anyway if any of y'all have any suggestions for books to read, let me know. <3

2014 reading goals )
*small wave*

so I've been around the whole time I'm just super terrible at posting here anymore. tumblr is a black hole of gifs and pretty pictures and I've forgotten how to properly journal. (that's a lie, I'm just laaaazy.)

also nothing has been going on, so I have had very little to say.

Wincon this year was a blast (spoiler alert: it's a blast every year.) I got many compliments on the bodice of my dress and thus my cleavage. *thumbs up* also [livejournal.com profile] cathybites and I were joined by our favorite Canadians ([livejournal.com profile] bossymarmalade and [livejournal.com profile] glockgal) so just hanging out in the hotel was DIAMONDS. I think most everyone on my flist who has ever had interest in Wincon already goes, or has gone in the past, but it is seriously so much fun. and next year is in Orlando which yessssssssssss.

work is work. I live and work in central airzona. if I get through the day without having to listen to any racist, homophobic or mysoginistic bullshit I count it as a win. I don't get very many win days. (also if I get told to smile ONE MORE TIME. siiiigh.)

fandom-wise I'm still happily frolicking in my tiny non-batshit corner of Teen Wolf. as a Sterek fan even so you know, I don't really talk to anyone except people I'm already friends with. (ahahaha I talked Lori and Maggie's ears off at Wincon and they were dears about it even though they seriously could not care less.) other than that I guess most of my fandom brain is taken up with Pacific Rim, Hemlock Grove and Sleepy Hollow. also going back to TW, I really want to marry Tyler Hoechlin. I um. don't think I'm kidding. ;p

mostly though I just wanted to say hi. I actually read my flist almost every single day but then just never say anything. I have to stop that.

and I'll end with this because I love doing this gift exchange. I've gotten some of my favorite icons from this. <3

good very early morning internets. I know it's been over 6 months but sometimes you just need to talk to someone and no one else is awake at 3 in the morning.

so let me tell you about my night so far. it was the usual, tumblr and lj and chatting with Mel until it was time for bed. I crashed at around 11:30ish which once again was later than I intended but any night I go to sleep before midnight I count as an adulthood win.

at 2:30ish I was awoken by the sound of tapping on my living room window (I was sleeping on the couch because my bed is covered in clean clothes I need to put away... perhaps we should take away that adulthood point I awarded myself.) ANYWAY. since I live right next to a well lit parking lot I could clearly see the shadow of a man against the blinds. standing at my window. tapping and knocking, sometimes knocking on the outside wall, sometimes sounding like he was digging around the house. once I unfroze myself because wow 'frozen in fear' is an actual fax thing, I made my way to the kitchen, got my phone and the biggest fucking knife I own and called the police.

of course as soon as I called I didn't hear any tapping or see shadows. but the cops came by and FOUND SOME DUDE RIGHT UNDER MY WINDOW WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. the cop I talked to was super nice, had me look outside to see if I recognized the person (I did not.) they think he is a transient and were going to get him to move along. I am now sitting in my house with all of the lights on. and I'm pretty sure I'm never going to sleep again. so that's awesome.

or maybe I'll sleep once the panic subsides and my heart stops racing. that seems... unlikely.

meme time

Sep. 8th, 2012 07:37 pm
1. Tell you why I friended you. If I remember.
2. Associate you with something.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Associate you with a character/pairing.
6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7. Tell you my favourite userpic of yours.
8. Tell you that you must post this in your own journal.
wow not even one post in july. mostly because I have very little to talk about. work still sucks. I still hate living in arizona. I still have ridiculous crushes on british actors.

about the only new thing was my head first dive in to all things teen wolf. (amber's fault btw.)

and uhhh that's about it? yeah.
saw Brave last night.

vaguely spoilerish maybe? )

before the movie the trailer for The Hobbit played and oh. I'd seen it online already but that was the first time I saw it on the big screen I think. and really the only way I can think of to describe how it made me feel was... it felt like I was coming home. which is so cheesy but true. so there you go. (I really should to get my ass to New Zealand one day.)

tomorrow is the creature!Benedict version of Frankenstein. headed down to Phoenix with [livejournal.com profile] ladybugg7 for lunch before and then Frankenstein followed by an explosion of feels and maybe some shopping and dinner before heading back up the mountain.
so I went down to Phoenix this afternoon in the 105 degree heat in a car that has no air conditioning so that I could go to the Phoenix Art Museum and see the National Theater Live showing of Frankenstein. I saw the version with Benedict Cumberbatch as Victor Frankenstein and Jonny Lee Miller as The Creature.

I honest to god don't know what to do with all of my feelings. it's about a two hour drive from where I live to the museum and the entire way home I was either crying or talking to myself or just making incoherent joyful noises trying to come up with a way to describe what I had just seen. it was absolutely incredible and if you have the means I highly recommend finding a theater that is playing it.

the opposite roles version is showing the sunday after next. needless to say I've already purchased tickets.

I thought my crush on Benedict couldn't get any bigger or more ridiculous. ahahahahahaha oh god I love how devastatingly wrong I can be.
Things I did today:

1. Laundry
2. Watched Snow White and the Huntsman
3. Watched Thor
4. Watched The Avengers

It was a Chris Hemsworth kind of day. (and if I could have figured out how to work him into the whole laundry thing, I would have.)
oh man am I tipsy drunk. how do I know? because suddenly Fergie - London Bridge is the best song I've ever heard.

oh god the weekend is finally here. for a short week that was really fucking long and annoying. meh.

plans include Snow White and the Huntsman on Sunday and let's face it... The Avengers again at some point.

until then I think it's just going to be more poking around the jeremy renner tag on tumblr and rewatching The Bourne Legacy trailer. new obsession WHAT IS UP!
uh so I got home about an hour ago and I've already lost count of how many times I've watched the new trailer for The Bourne Legacy

but it's Jeremy Renner and Rachel Weisz so can you really blame me? )

it doesn't make up for my desire for a Hawkeye movie... but good lord. Yes please.
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