so.... this is what change feels like

so once upon a time I was xandersgrrl and then for a very long time I was queenbitter and now, I dunno but it felt like it was time for a change.

so if you're wondering who the fuck this new person on your flist is... it's just me. *waves hi*

1. My username is _____ because ____.

loveflyfree. it's a lyric from my very favorite Tony Lucca song - 'Songbird'

Songbird sing us a love song
And heal our broken hearts with your melody
Songbird bring us a new song
Let this love fly free

2. My journal is titled ____ because ____.

'i feel sick' from one of my very favorite comics of the same name. it's the story of a girl who has very bad luck with men, a job she hates, and her artistic creations might be coming to life and trying to destroy her. or she's just going crazy. :)

3. My subtitle is ____ because ____.

'and why the fuck am i wearing a bear suit?' is also from 'i feel sick.' it's funny. trust me. :)

4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.

'TALK TO SPOOKY!!' which is yet again from 'i feel sick.' yes there is a bit of a theme here. anyway, you should all talk to spooky. it will make you feel better. *squeek squeek*

5. My default userpic is ____ because ____.

now it probably really should be
just to continue with the whole theme as this is a picture of Devi, the hero of our story.
however, it is actually
because Jack Davenport is smirking at me. and uh. yeah that's all I got.

*****

so I've been clicking around lj and looking up old friends and I've come to the realization that I suck. I let people slip away all the time and don't do a damn thing to fight for them. I get drawn into the fights of my friends and I choose sides and I let the other side melt away as if they were never there. here's the thing. I very rarely go out and make friends on my own. I just kinda let my friends tell me who I should be hanging out with. which is fine yeah. it's a perfectly legitimate way to meet new people. but then, if original friend and new friend have a falling out... I will almost always side with original friend. which again, isn't necessarily bad, except that there really is no reason why I should have to pick a side at all. I'm in my mid-30's for fucks sake. I'm pretty sure that I can have more than one friend. *sigh*

I dunno. I've just looked up a couple of people that I miss and I don't know how to approach them. like 'hi remember me, I bailed when you were zomg meen.' there's just no good way. and believe me, I have no problem swallowing my pride, I just don't know if these people want to know me again. I'm not sure I would give me a second chance either.

and you've just had some kind of mushroom

- am watching the concert for Diana... or whatever this is called and I'm pleased to see that Simon le Bon is as dreamy as ever. ♥

- please to be taking my poll. and feel free to tell me why I should be watching the show you choose.

- was watching Dateline earlier and the interview with Prince William and Prince Harry. I have never been a big follower of the royal family, but I would be very content to just listen to the two of them talk. especially Harry. Mmmhmmm.

- am starting back to the gym tomorrow in an attempt to actually start losing weight. I know I say this every couple of years/months/whatever but one of these times, it has to be for real.

- and now 'Hunted' is on. oh angry!Sam. how I love thee.