so then I took my turn

right. so you grow up and you're never the pretty girl, you're never the one that gets looked at twice or thought about in any way at all except maybe in that 'oh she's just a friend' way. and before you know it, before you're even in high school you already know that you're nothing special. and so you take all that in and it becomes a part of you and it's not like you wanted it to happen. you just weren't paying attention and by then it was too late. it's too late, right? wrong. for about the past month I've been putting a lot of effort into how I look. doing my make up, dressing a little different, wearing earrings and styling my hair. not because I think these things make me somehow more worthy, but because these things make me look at myself and say 'yes.' because it's like I've found the girl that has been hidden away all this time.

this picture is kind of tragic because it was taken at work in the Bathroom of Despair (or the Silent Hill bathroom... it's unnaturally lit in there and I would not be surprised to see one of those nurse-creature things twitching in the corner) but I wore my kickass slate blue boots and a new sweater dress and my nickname for myself all day was 'sex bomb.'

basically what I'm saying is that today felt like motherfucking victory.

( seriously that light could not be worse )