so yeah. my new fandom is American Idol. I know I'm lame. carry on.

[loveflyfree]

Open Letter to the David/Michael Fandom,

Listen. I know how it is. You've got this shiny new fandom. You've got new "canon" every week. Even little things like Michael getting kicked off the show can't stop you because David says things in interviews like "one of the few good things that has come out of Michael Johns being voted off is that he actually lives in LA. When I do get that window of free time I can use it and hang out with my friend." So you know. Good times. And I'm right there with you.

But there's a couple of things that I would like to suggest before I end up sporking my own eyes out. Just a short list of things you might want to think about.

1. For the love of all that is good and holy please stop calling it Mavid. I blame popslash for this but you do not have to have a pairing nickname. It is okay to just call it Michael/David or David/Michael or those two hot guys from American Idol. NO MORE NICKNAMES.

2. Please do not refer to David as "The Texan" in your fic. Yes. He was born in Texas. But every bit of biographical information on him says he was raised in Missouri. I get that "The Missourian" doesn't have the same ring, but you are confusing me and making me think that Jason Castro is suddenly the one giving Michael a blow job. And I don't really want to read that story.

3. Stop making David act like a girl. Unless of course you want to do genderswap which is actually something TOTALLY DIFFERENT and even then I don't want him to act like a girl. So yeah. Yes. He cried on stage once. ONCE. And there were some pretty extenuating and personal circumstances going on there. I especially don't want any pining away after married!Michael and crying over their love that could have been. Because that's just lame.

4. The first person to do a Lost Boys story gets the spork in their eye. Vampire AUs are okay. They're encouraged even. But if you try to do The Lost Boys it will make the baby Jesus cry. Trust me.

5. We've all heard Michael speak. Yes he still has his Australian accent. But please stop calling him Kangaroo or Roo or 'the Aussie' or anything other than his name. Michael is a perfectly fine name. Shorten it to Mike or even Mikey. Go nuts. Just stop with the Australian-themed names. (Seriously, if I hear anyone say Koala... SPORK!)

I'm sure given the last one that you're surprised that I didn't mention David's nickname. Cookie. Look it's totally lame and cheesy. But the dude's last name is Cook and I've got to admit that if I were friends with him, I would totally call him Cookie. Mostly to annoy him, because that's how I roll. So yeah. Cookie is fine when used appropriately. I will demonstrate:

Good: Michael didn't even look as he picked up the phone. "Good morning Cookie!"
Bad: Michael groaned as David worked his hand into his pants. "Oh Cookie!"

Do you see how awful a misused nickname can be? Are you suddenly wondering if you somehow stumbled into Sesame Street porn? Use the nickname wisely kids!

Go nuts. Remember that you're writing about grown men. And HAVE FUN.

It's just porn on the internets. :D

Comments

[dramedy.livejournal.com]

Wait, do you not like Lost Boys? I mean, I can understand not wanting it as an AU for slash, because hello, weird. Although I slash the Coreys at every possible turn and now I sound like a huge weirdo. But I don't think I'd want anyone to rip it off for fic. that'd be...weird.

<3!

[loveflyfree.livejournal.com]

No I love Lost Boys. But as the characters are already named David and Michael... then it's not so much as clever rps AU as it is plagiarism. (or you know, really lazy storytelling.) ;p

[dramedy.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes. Okay, we don't have to have the 'Lauren's weird love for everything 80's' talk. lol.

*has a Lost Boys poster staring down at her*

[frisbyg.livejournal.com]

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

oh shit, I wanted to quote this whole post. WHOTF is calling Michael Australian themed nicknames? *honest to god tears of laughter*

[loveflyfree.livejournal.com]

omg kateez it's in several of the stories! and in discussion. if I see him called kangaroo one more time I'm gonna hurl! I know they're just trying to find a cute name like 'Cookie' but god!

oh fandom.

[frisbyg.livejournal.com]

see I only ever called xbf roo because his name was andrew and he was aussie and I was striving to find an endearment that no one had bothered to wittle out (am brilliantest gf ever obvsly) before. and even then it was still gay.

I have to say that your examples of the right and wrong usage of Cookie were spot on, aha.

oh fandom, it scares me with its nicknames. they only use Mavid because Dichael would confuse people.

[loveflyfree.livejournal.com]

well yes. obviously if someone is from Australia and their name is Andrew then 'Roo' is a totally cute name and of course you are the most brilliantest EVAR. heh.

they only use Mavid because Dichael would confuse people.

oh shit. I just laughed so hard someone from THREE OFFICES DOWN had to come see what was going on. which of course I couldn't explain. ahahahahahaha omg.

ugh. it's not even 10:30 and I'm already bored. not a good sign for how the day is going to go. *stares at icons*

[frisbyg.livejournal.com]

bwahaha! and when you say they "wouldn't understand" what was so funny, they rillyrilly wouldn't. 't'would be a good name for the gender-swapping fics tho.

*juggles*